Excuses. Excuses. Excuses.

Today I asked some of my friends what their excuses are to not work out. We all have them. I'd be lying if I said excuses didn't cross my mind every day. The difference isn't how great or true your excuses are, but whether you're going to let them rock your world. Take a look in the mirror. Are you happy with what you're looking at? Like, really actually happy?

If you're lying to me, I could care less. It's your body, not mine! But if you're lying to yourself...I care. If you can't be truthful to the one person in the whole world who knows all your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, then you're off to a bad start. In fact, you might be uncomfortable reading this right now if what I just described is you! What I described was me though, once upon a time.

But today. Today is about excuses. What was your excuse today? Like I said, I asked my friends. Here are 15 of me and my friends' best (read: worst!) excuses for why we can't workout on a given day:

15. I forgot my iPod. -- I feel like I don't need to say it, but I'm going to: First. World. Problems, bro. You don't NEED to listen to bass pumping music to get your heart pumping. That, my friend, is a myth. You're confused. If you're going to get to the gym and then realize you don't have your iPod, and leave...

14. I just ate. -- Well that wasn't a good idea was it? You did that on purpose, just to thwart me. Fine, digest. Take 40 minutes to yourself, and then, because you deliberately put it off, I want you to go twice as hard for twice as long. Hey, you just gave your body a ton of fuel. It's ready to go (in 40 minutes)!!!

13. People will judge me. -- People at the gym? Are you kidding me. People at the gym don't giving a flying fart about what you're doing. They're focusing on themselves, remember, that's why they're there. You're just being a Paranoid Polly. People will judge you outside? No. You're outside. You're being a human. You're being healthy. There's nothing to judge. People in your house will judge you? Then...why are they in your house?

12. I'll do it later. -- No you won't.

11. I don't have anywhere to work out. -- Where are you? In your house. Boom, that excuse is already over. Are you in an internet cafe? How'd you get there? Did you walk? You should have. Are you at a friend's house? Workout there. In fact, why don't you and your friend go outside and do something? Make them your workout buddy for the day. This is literally a horrible excuse because you can workout anywhere.

10. I feel sick. -- Okay, fine, if you're not being a big old baby and you really are legitimately sick, fine, don't work out. If you're legitimately sick, the best, best, best thing you can do is rest your body. Resting your body is just as important as training it and working it out. Too much rest is going to get you in trouble, but I will begrudgingly accept this excuse if you REALLY TRULY are sick. Mancolds don't count. I'm talking bedridden here.

9. I don't have any time to myself as it is. -- Working out is working on your body. The only thing in this world that is solely 100% yours and yours alone is your body. Working on your body couldn't BE a better time to yourself. Girl (boy) you crazy if you think working out isn't YOU time.

8. I worked out yesterday. -- You did? I'm so proud of you. I seriously, no sarcasm, am proud of you. That's awesome. You should do it again. Seriously, train your body. Unless this is like day seven in a row of you hardcore working out, then maybe you should take a breather (or not).

7. It's raining. -- Do you live in the Pacific NW? If your answer is yes: stop being a baby, Jesus. Put on a fucking raincoat and go outside. Or, *concept* workout inside. If your answer is no: Put on a raincoat. You'll be fine. It's just water. You're going to sweat anyway.

6. I'm sore. -- Are you sore from working out? If your answer is yes: holla, you're doing your body some good. Keep pushing it. If you keep pushing it, you're going to see changes. If your answer is no: then I don't want to hear it. Go workout, you're being lame.

5. It's too hot/It's too cold. -- It's too hot? Workout inside. Turn on a fan. Open a window. Get some cross-circulation. You're a smart cookie, you figure it out. Workout in a sports bra and shorts, or just shorts if you're feeling really bold and/or you're a man. It's too cold? Put on a jacket. Workout inside. Put on another jacket. Guarantee if you get your heart rate up you're going to want to be outside.

4. I have a lot of homework (housework, businesswork, etc.). -- Here's an idea: do it. Get off the Internet and finish what needs to be done. GO. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!? Every second you spend on the Internet is a second you could be doing a crunch, a push-up, or a jumping jack.

3. My _____ hurts. -- Your _____ hurts? You know what will make your _____ feel better? Stretching it. Slowly moving it. Okay, so your _____ hurts. Why don't you figure out something to work out that doesn't involve using your _____. And yes, there are plenty of exercises you can do that avoid your _____. Next excuse.

2. I don't have enough time. -- You don't have enough time? Excuse me. YOU don't have enough time?! Welcome to life, partner. No one has enough time. You're really not all that special. Oh my gawd, I'm sorry that was mean. I'm not trying to harass you, I'm just trying to show you that you're seriously not alone. I guarantee you can find 15 minutes in your day to move your body. I guarantee it. 15 minutes won't make you have a body like Serena Williams or Ryan Reynolds, but it's better than nothing.

1. I'm tired. -- Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition brothers and sisters, we're ALL fucking tired! No one comes home from class or work, sits on the couch, takes a deep breath and thinks, "Gee, I would love to sweat all over myself and put myself in physical pain. Great. Lets do it." You had a long day. I get it, trust me, I get it. This is the mothership of all excuses. It's so much easier to beach yourself on the couch and eat an entire can of Pringles than it is to go outside for an hour and walk.

Oh My Gawd.

Anyone can say they're on a diet, but following through with your diet is a whole 'nother ballpark, partner. Living with three other girls might as well be called "dwelling with three living, breathing chocolate entrepreneurs". Insert cocked eyebrow with head tilt.

So WHEN Roommate #1 says at 8:30 at night, "I want a blizzard."

And then Roommate #2 says at 8:30:04 at night, "Oh my gawd, chocolate extreme."

And when Roommate #3 is asked what she wants from DQ, she says, "What the hell. Chocolate extreme."

You FIND yourself strapped shotgun in a finicky Jeep Liberty cruising to the nearest DQ a couple miles away. Excuse #1: But it's not after 9pm yet. Excuse #2: But I did a really hard workout today (not a lie, at all, I did). Excuse #3: But all of my chocolate-whore roommates are going...

All valid excuses, yet all excuses. No! I am soooo not even close to the perfect dieter, this is why I've battled my weight for over 10 years! Trips to DQ to get [small] chocolate blizzards are only going to shock your system. I know shocking the system can be a good thing! But I'm not into consistent fatty shocks.

I could make a lot of points about this, but all I'm trying to say is, I'm not perfect and I can admit that. Just because I burned off that Blizzard today (easily) does not mean that it should be a constant thing. I am all for condoning treats every now and then. But this. This:

This SMALL chocolate extreme blizzard, that all three of my roommates ate as well, contains:

-- 650 calories

-- 29 grams of fat (keeping in mind you "should" limit your fat to around 30 grams per day, if not less)

-- 12 grams of protein (all* coming from the dairy, I bet)

and wait for it,

-- 69 grams of sugar. SIXTY-NINE.

As a house, as a chocolate devouring unit, as four young-twenties women, we consumed:

-- 2600 calories

-- 116 grams of fat

-- 48 grams of protein (go us...!)

-- 276 grams of sugar.

I only ate half of mine, but we're being hypothetical here. If I had just finished mine (which would NOT have been a hard task had I not looked up those numbers halfway through), we would have eaten 276 grams of sugar. That is absolutely disgusting.

Welcome to My World.

Hello, to you. Yes, you.

I imagine you're reading this because you've either stumbled upon it (I speak literally) or you know me and you somehow found this link because I either mentioned it to you or someone else mentioned it to you. It doesn't matter how you've ended up reading this, it just matters that you are reading this.

I could tell you how my story is so special and deserves significant merit and praise because it's so heartfelt and touching. Or I could tell you that my story is rough and compromising and sometimes leaves me wondering if my roommates can literally hear me moaning on my bedroom floor. The second statement would be more truthful.

I plan to give you a full background check on myself soon, that includes embarrassing pictures and excuse after excuse as to why and how I got so unhealthy and out of shape, but right now, in this minute, I want you to just prepare yourself. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically if you must. Do what you need to do, and I'll do what I need to do. Sharing my story with the world isn't something I necessarily want to do; it's something that I feel like I need to do. And my story is far, far from finished. In fact, I'm not even halfway there yet.